Saturday, 31 October 2015

Halloween at Cuckoo Club With Grey Goose.

The photo below is one of the baby bottles we had to keep us going before our magnum arrived. Therefore I write this very hungover, and struggling to see how I'm going to survive a second Halloween party tonight. Last night was Halloween at The Cuckoo Club on Swallow St, and like every event I'm invited to by Grey Goose, it was pretty incredible!

Before the event Tom and I both went to Edd's to get ready and eat pizza and pre-drink. That makes us sound a bit like students, but Edd has a bar in his living room and you can't really waste all that alcohol just sitting there looking at you. I did the boys hair and makeup, which was a bit weird, and Edd made it more weird by saying 'Luxals, I feel we've crossed a new boundary here'. They asked for the same eyes I had, except their eyes are really different to mine, so they ended up looking a bit like pandas/badgers/burglars. I then sprayed dry shampoo in their air to give them the ultra-badger look. I laughed, they laughed, we drank. Then we got an Uber to The Cuckoo Club.

Grey Goose are sponsoring the downstairs 'Enchanted Garden', which was pretty much the most beautiful room I've ever seen in a club! It was really really dark down there though so super hard to get photos - there was loads of smoke so even with the flash on they didn't come out too great.

We got there at about 11pm and after spotting Katie and Ben (aka, the cutest couple  e v e r), we all investigated the downstairs bit, before being shown to our VIP table upstairs in the normal club part. Obviously as it was a Halloween party I went with my usual 'velvet black dress, dark eyes, and red devil horns' - because I'm not very creative nor inventive when it comes to costumes. I always either go dressed as that or a every single fancy dress party.

The normal club part was decked out in Halloween decorations, and much to my horror (excuse the pun), there were two wax models looking hella creepy! Obviously as I have a pretty extreme phobia of them this didn't sit well with me, especially when they started moving, so I decided it would be a great idea to try and forget about them by drinking a lot. Thankfully Edd told me I could crash at his and test out his brand spankin' new sofa bed, so all was good and I just left my car there.

Two small bottles of Grey Goose and one magnum later we were all pretty wrecked.

When Edd gets really drunk he can't smile, and instead does an angry/smouldering look in every photo.

 I look really impressed at being in a headlock.

Katie and Ben left around 2am, and then Edd went walkabout. I told Tom to tell him I'd gone to the bathroom if he came back before I did, but when I got back neither of them were anywhere to be seen! I waited a while then texted them, and then walked around to try and find them. Still nowhere to be seen I went outside to see if Edd was keeping Tom company while he had a smoke. Nope.

This is when I started panicking. My car was at Edds. My car keys and handbag were at Edds. All I had was my clutch with my camera, phone, ID, and debit card. FML. He picked up my first call but was so drunk he just kept wittering on about him being outside, I told him I was outside too, and he went 'Nooooo you're not, I can't see you!'. Then the phone cut out.

Now, I'm not very good in stressful situations. I get in a panic easily and get all worried and emotional. All I could think was 'I'm stuck, it's 2:30am and I have no way of knowing where he is, what if he's gone to another club and hasn't gone home? What if all the bedrooms at my club are full? WHAT IF PEOPLE THINK I'M A WHORE BECAUSE I'M ON THE STREET BY MYSELF IN A TOO-SHORT DRESS AND WEIRD MAKEUP?'

So I did what I always do in these situations - I burst into tears. I tried to call a couple of friends whose places I usually crash at in emergencies, but it was 2:30am and everyone was fast asleep. So I called Peter. Who lives in Switzerland 90% of the year, including last night. He is my calm person. If I'm ever stressed or upset or need someone to be brutally honest with me, he is the one I go to. He picked up and listened to me as I howled down the phone and regaled my story of what had happened. He's a good listener. He doesn't try and offer unwanted advice or say things that make you mad, he just listens. He told me to take a deep breath and try not to worry, then offered to call a few people and see if they could help, and promised to call back ASAP when he'd figured something out.

Then I called Claire, she is my other calm person. She told me everything would be OK, told me she'd try calling Edd herself, and told me that if we couldn't get in touch with him I could stay at hers. Phew. Panic over - I wouldn't be sleeping on the streets dressed in Halloween getup. Then Peter called back and said one of our friends can help out if I still need it. Sometimes it's the emotional drunken times when you're in a bit of a kerfuffle that make you realise just how flipping awesome your friends are. Words can't even express how grateful I am for these people.

A couple of minutes later Edd called asking where I was, he thought I'd already left so he'd left and headed home, so I hailed down a taxi and quite literally fell inside it sobbing (I'm a really overly-emotional person in stressful situations, okay, which is weird because usually I'm a really happy drunk). The taxi driver was lovely and asked if I was ok and if anything had happened and if I was safe. I also only had £20 on me so he even knocked the last few pounds of the fare off for me.

Eventually I got back to Edd's and just as I went to ring the buzzer he appeared behind me, looking an absolute state. (sorry Edd, it's true). He gave me a big hug and laughed at me while I sobbed a bit more, then when inside he made up my bed with crisp fresh sheets that felt all lovely and warm, and after more hugs I fell asleep. I woke up to the sun blazing in, and when I padded across to Edd's room to see if he was awake, he looked at me and asked 'Did we get the nightbus last night!?' I rolled my eyes and said 'You did...I got a taxi...', and I regaled the whole story to him, much to his horror and entertainment.

Yesterday my boss told me my life is like something from The O.C. After the goings on of last night, I'm starting to think he's right.

It's been a while since I did a brutally honest and lengthy lifestyle-y post like this, I've missed it. Sometimes life isn't all champagne and roses, sometimes you end up drunk, alone, in the middle of London, bawling down the phone to your friends. That's life for you though, eh. At least it was all ok in the end, and it's definitely one of those things I'll look back and laugh on in a few days time! And apart from the last hour of the night, the rest of it was bloody awesome and so much fun!!

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